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What is like to have a nuru massage?

My experience of nuru massage in London...
Great fun and more great memories of this massage…

My experience of nuru massage

In a recent post, I looked at the subject of erotic massage at London, both as a part of a meeting and on its own.

However, one omission from this post was the subject of Nuru massage. There was a simple reason for this: I had never tried it so I could not comment on it! Well, that was until this week……!


For the uninitiated, like me, Nuru Massage is a body-to-body massage where the person doing it starts by applying a thick, gloopy gel all over the body (defined by London Nuru massage guide). It is certainly a messy business, with special sheeting required!

A lady friend of mine started doing it a while ago, but imagine my surprise when I turned up recently for one of our regular bookings to find plastic sheeting down and a cauldron of bubbling “oil”!

Was she going to ask me to decorate the room? Was she part of some gangland syndicate and it was going to see me off with a sticky ending? No, it was far worse!

This lady quickly explained what she had in mind and asked if I was game. There is only one answer for me when I am met with such a challenge……..!

I should mention this lady has known me for a couple of years and we share an equally warped sense of humour. Together, we have had many role-play meetings, which have always been hilarious and ridiculous in every way. Therefore, to my mind, what followed was entirely predictable and my friend has only herself to “blame”!

Once I was stripped and deposited on the bed on the plastic sheeting (shit! She could have warmed it up a bit!), my friend started some weird chanting as she was about to cover me with gloop (ok, I made that bit up!).

When she started by applying the gel to my most intimate and personal area, she was shocked and concerned to see me suddenly writhing around in “agony”, screaming “you’ve boiled my nuts and manhood!”. She had not, but hey, worth a try!

This set the tone and things descended into farce pretty quickly! When she began the body-to-body massage, I started to interact and we were soon grappling and sliding around in one god-awful mess! How was I supposed to know I was meant to remain PASSIVE?!

If you imagine a mixed sex, naked mud wrestling scene, you would be pretty close!

Rather than telling me I was meant to be passive, my friend kept trying to restrain me, which only served to exacerbate matters. The more she tried, the more I writhed, as I was trying to massage her too.

We were in hysterics and things reached a predictably sticky conclusion when I went sliding off the bed and straight into the wall! Head first! By now, we were in pieces! It was agonisingly funny!

Once I has showered off and we had tidied up, we resumed our meeting along more “normal” lines. However, it was a few days later my friend explained to me in an email how I was meant to have been just lying there! Whoops! Always read the “instructions”! A very “man thing” not to do so, I know.

Great fun and more great memories with this wonderful lady!

This post is dedicated to my longest-standing and most long-suffering companion! I would like to take this opportunity to apologise to my companion for my wilful and unacceptable “behaviour” during this meeting, but at least we will both remember it (even if she may now have regretted it!)!

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