We are used to thinking of the sexual body as mainly just sex organs and erogenous zones. These days we are very informed on how those areas need to be stimulated and what gets us off. We may also add hormonal influences, sexy psychology and “the biggest sex organ of all” – the brain full of images and desires. We normally see it as a game of nerve impulses – from the brain to the sex organs and from the sex organs to the brain.
Quite often it is not fulfilling, because we are just scratching the surface (quite literally). The real lifeblood of sex, the real nectar of a sexual state is awakening of our sexual bio-energy. And when we understand these truths under the surface and we get to know them well, we open a whole new world of pleasure and fulfilment, much greater than simple two-way nerve stimulation.
The Sexual Energy Centre
When a child is conceived, this small ball of sexual energy explodes into a variety of human bioenergies, but some sexual energy stays in its pure form in the groin. This centre corresponds to the two lowest chakras in the Hindu system. The energy is normally low-key and dormant, although strong and healthy sexual energy gives out some constant trickle through our being and brings us feelings of vitality, vibrance and inspiration. This trickle varies in life phases and hormonal cycles. When activated in a sexual experience, the sexual energy warms up and expands, like hot air. This expansion and its movements is what we perceive as arousal, pleasure and orgasm. In the Tantric tradition it is represented by a coiled up snake that wakes up and rises up, a very good metaphor. At the end of the sexual experience it contracts back to its reservoir.
The Heart Energy Centre
This is the primary energy centre of a woman – not more important, it just gets activated first when a woman is in her natural arousal. The heart energy is not sexual, it is emotional, but without it the woman’s sexual energy doesn’t get full power. This is why a woman normally asks for more tenderness from a man and this is why she is so sensual about her breasts. A woman has to be harmonic with both centres if she wants to get the best out of her sex. Both energies have to blend to create what we know as potent female energy in sex. It is not hard to do and it doesn’t take a romantic commitment. Some women get too locked in their heart energy and neglect their female sexual energy in the groin – in other words they are overly romantic and not sexual enough. Other women learn to have sex without emotions, for one reason or another, and they shut off from their heart energy. The result of such imbalances is that you may still enjoy sex but it is nowhere near as good as it can be.
The Flow of Sexual Energy
Like any bioenergy, sexual energy is not just a juice in our body but in our whole being. This means that it flows and interacts on all levels at the same time – physical, emotional, mental and spiritual. All of those are different frequencies of waves and sexual energy permeates them all with its waves too. A physical stimulus will awaken sexual energy, a thought will awaken it, an emotion will awaken it. And in reverse: the sexual energy will warm up the erogenous body, change the colour of emotions and fill the mind.
This is not to say that touching the clitoris doesn’t cause orgasm and a fantasy doesn’t cause arousal. Everything works together and everything plays a part. But the obvious aspects of our sexuality are just ways to access and express the sexual energy, they are just the routes in and out. We think that a thought caused a physical desire in the groin. In fact, a thought was just a button that activated the sexual energy to expand and wake up the groin. The energy then, if expanded enough, brought on the orgasm expressed partly through the physical body.
Female sexual energy warms up and cools down much more slowly than male energy. The more the energy expands, the longer it is in us and the deeper it gets through our being, the better. Female sexual energy is very powerful and can bring a woman unimaginable heights of full body pleasure when fully expanded. When this energy flows through us well and deep, we reach higher sexual states, with profound pleasure and fulfilment, dimensions of joy and love. The energy revitalises itself and our whole being, shining its goodness for transformation and rejuvenation. When the sexual energy retreats back to the groin it leaves behind some of itself in our organism, and we can feel its goodness for a while to come.
Besides, a woman’s well being is much more connected to sexual energy then men’s. Even on the physical level the whole of the woman’s body is involved, with almost no areas that aren’t erogenous, and the mental and emotional states are closely related to sexuality. Woman’s sexual energy plays a big part in her life. Not only it is a rejuvenating and cleansing influence that keeps the woman’s body in good health, it also has a strong impact on her emotional wellbeing, fullfilment and self-esteem.
Problems with the Flow of Sexual Energy
It is very rare, however, that female sexual energy expands far and to the depth. Like anything else, sexual energy moves in certain conditions, in certain patterns, many factors are important to liberate its flow, and many can block it.
Male energy expands explosively while female sexual energy warms up slowly. In addition, male heart centre is not as active as the woman’s. Because of this discord, very often women don’t have a chance to truly open their sexual energy with their partners. Men and women both need to learn how to harmonise their differences.
Single women could access their female sexual energy too but many times we don’t know important truths and don’t do enough to harmonise with our sexual energy, simply because we don’t know how to. We restrict our sexual energy ourselves. We stay on the surface, on the nerve stimulation.
Little by little the sexual energy flow is forced into new channels, its flow is weak and distorted and the sexual energy gets used to it. Usually this happens very early in life in the absence of sexual education, and later self-conditioning or trauma can add to this too.
With the right approach and sexual practice women can use their very own sexual energy to wash through this legacy, dissolve the restrictive patterns and find a new empowerment in free-flowing, healthy, strong sexual energy.