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Guide to being a phone sex operator

There’s a scene in the first series of Shameless where Veronica, a Mancunian woman living on a council estate, is ironing topless in front of a webcam, a perfect combination of domesticity and sex for sale.

But this kind of work is certainly not limited to our screens or Manchester. According to a 2011 ABC news report, there are thousands of mothers working as phone sex operators in the US, earning anywhere between $10 and $100 for an hours work. Spurred on by the faltering economy mum’s who used to stay home and do the laundry are now finding a more profitable way to spend their time.

However, having spoken to the author of the Phone Sex Secrets blog, a mother who has been in the business – and it most certainly is a business – for eight years, turns out there is much more to the phone sex industry than whispering some dirty lines down the phone as you load the dishwasher. Here, she helps to dispel some myths and explains why anonymity is key.

escort phone

I was an escort prior to becoming a phone sex operator (PSO), so I already knew the score when it comes to being open and honest talking about sex work: Don’t.

Things like connections and payment options have changed – mostly for the better, but with so many more options available, there’s more competition now. Which means you’d better know your marketing!

Sex and human interaction – or rather the need for interaction – remains rather the same; so the actual part of talking with, and satisfying clients has remained the same.

Make no mistake; I believe in autonomy, and that includes an individual’s right to choose to be a sex worker. But we do not have the right to make choices for others or force the fall-out of our decisions onto others. Telling others that you’re a sex worker, even though it’s completely legal, may put those people at risk – or make them feel as if they are at risk.

Will your work as a PSO mean someone could be judged poorly and therefore be passed over for a promotion or even lose their job? Will it affect your standing or legal status as parents? These things do happen. It’s not just the person you tell, it’s who they tell. The fact that a friend is working in any way with “sex” is hot gossip and it spreads. This is why so many PSO’s and sex workers have double-lives. As a result, it’s quite isolating being a sex worker.

My past experience as an escort meant I entered phone sex work with my eyes wide open, so I’ve avoided the usual pitfalls. Like anyone with a job, there are ‘bad days’, exhausting days, when you’d much rather not work. But truly, the only bad experiences are when calls just don’t go right… Say, you and the client just don’t click, or you can tell they are in trouble, but you have limited options to help them.

As long as my children are healthy and happy I personally have no set ideas of what or who my children will be. I wouldn’t be upset or somehow maternally worried if one of my children became a phone sex operator or otherwise entered sex work. I would have no problem with my legally adult daughter choosing to enter this line of work.

I don’t mind educating or enlightening people, but if they have already made up their small minds, my facts just get in the way and it’s a waste of everyone’s time. I really don’t worry about any people’s opinions about me or my work.

When I first started it was scary, of course! Unlike sex work done in person, there was no body language to read. Was he nervous? Did he need some conversation time before we got sexually intimate? Was he raring to go? Did he want me to lead or follow? Without being able to see him, I didn’t know where either of his heads were at! But eventually I learned to hear the information that I once observed with my eyes, and my confidence grew along with my knowledge.

As an independent PSO, I set the rules. If/when my clients don’t follow the rules, I am more than competent enough to redirect them, offer places where they could get professional mental help, etc. And I am more than confident enough to simply hang-up if I, or my rules, are not being respected.

Doing your chores whilst on the phone would be unprofessional. Unless it’s a caller with an “ignore” fetish, or a client seeking a girlfriend experience, 100% of your attention is on the caller and the call.

My husband knows what I do and is fine with it. Part of being in a good relationship is agreeing to the same path before you get too far down one and find you are alone on it. He’s perfectly fine with both my former sex work history and my current PSO work. Every now and then, he may complain about the hours I spend working. Or he may pout a bit at the fact that although I am a home I am not as focused on him as he’d like. But then the money comes in, and he’s just fine! Lol.

Phone sex callers, punters who pay for the companionship of escorts, those who consume free internet porn, those who pay for adult content online, those who purchase DVDs, the erotica readers, the adult magazine subscribers, etc., they are all different niches and each niche has it’s own itch and makes it’s own scratch.

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